listening to mahlers ''songs for the death of children'' - fantastich - alles - i've just signed my book BERLIN BROMLEY to german publisher VENTIL VERLAG - so i get to tour the fahterland next year sometime.......... so deustchland look out....

just when i was thinking of killing myself with pills .... the tour is being planned....of course i'm hoping i get groupies...talll blond boys etc etc..........

talking of camp ............ watching also LIZA WITH A Z .....dvd of 1972 show ....incredible.....the glamour of 70s nyc....fosse was a genius of dancer- theatre - film....... sexy and funny and moving.....and simple....drag by halston ... song kander and ebb... those back up dancers or gypsy's really fucking masterpiece ....

reading 'conversations with truman capote '' to read joyce carry oates is to loathe her''


come back truman..............

now i know i'm miserable now..........

no bonfires..no fireworks.........Siouxsie called from france to say she attended a huge bonfire party...lots of kids dressed as witches......(coughs) witches!!!!!....... into the flames called mirror.........
the ugly old dyke upstairs...real old school - white cropped hair and button down shirt, stood in our communal garden and threw a stone a white cat sleeping on next doors shed....what a nasty twat... she has two yorkie terriers, one with only three legs...the missing leg she bit off in a dyke rage no doubt........

then i've been asked to attend a panel on ' the queer roots of glam rock' - this came thru a pr company that pr-ed my book BERLIN BROMLEY .... this pr would tell me in meetings pre book release, that ''of course you're not a household name''......my reply was '' keep talking like that and i wont be''...of course i ddnt mean it.... i meant ...''go catch cancer''..........ugh........... its true the publishing industry is pure evil shit...
a german publisher has offered me a trans deal...3% per book which means when all saidand done taht i'd make about 25p or 50cents a book..........kathy acker once told me- dont write for money......

and gaydar...... is full of the living dead - it proves that most queers are their stereotypes... unable to commit, even to replying to a message... and if i seee another booth size pic of a dripping glans i'll turn straight... gay people are just reduced to holes and pricks....
still, i've started a correspondence with dear old edmund white.... he's up there on gdar and i guess if he could help me get a deal in the US, I might finger fuck the old boy!!!!!!!

get up and sleep........

thats what i seem to be doing..............

saw 'scanner darkly' with keanu reeves - in cartoon ....hypnotic ........

thefanzine.com

did get burnt alive on halloween.........

walked in victoria park at dusk today - the sun was making everything sepia......my left eye kept runnig so i looked like i might be crying........i thought about when i used to go to paris in the early 80's and would go to the nightclub, called club sept......where one night with my friend, pascal - the world most beautiful man - like a lanky alain delon in the 60s.....
an old man - roland petit, a famous french dancer from the 40.50s in france ... made a spurious attempt to pick me up... i never liked older men.... thru our interpretuer pascal he said he prefered pascal...who reminded him of alain delon, a rent boy who worked the left bank in the mid 1950s....... delon a rent boy........no suprize.....

Ihate getting older........all you do is think about the past...........

28.........oct

went to the roundhouse in chalk farm on thursday to see damon alban's new band ''the good bad and the queen'' with paul simmion of the clash on guitar.....or bass.....
i had'nt been to the roundhouse since 1978......where i wintessed ''la grande eugene'' a tremendous 2hr international drag soiree.....watching damon and paul - i was longing for a bunch of drag queens to come up and schuze up the night...... they had a huge back drop onstage - that i presume mr simmion had painted, his side projet is painting, landscapes in the school of princecharles.... gasworks and alleyways painted by numbers...?
their sound was sort of clash blur new free jazz reggeae rap cheekychapy damon doning a top hat, a truc that, neil tennant of the PSBoys did a year ago and marc bolan 30 yrs before that!!!!
this was 'boystown' night out ......being an addled glamour addict....nothing hit the spot...... damon got pissed off and threw a strop and then launched into his johnny rotten routine....mr simmion did his swing axe clash moves.... oh yes half way thru a giant haystack Lebanese rapper come on a spewed the koran?....

Having never been a clash or blur fan i wasnt won over - poor me! perhaps its better on cd?

went to see ANDY WARHOL DOCUMENTARY - BY RIC BURNS AT 4 HRS LONG -
VERY ACADEMIC EARNEST LOOK AT ANDY'S PAINTINGS IN THE 60S AND ABOUT HALF AN HOUR ON HIS FILMS....LOVED THE INSIGHT ABOUT HIS WORK BEING ABOUT DEATH AS MUCH AS FAME AND GLAMOUR...MET THE FILM MAKER - TODD DOWNING FOR TEA - HE LOOKS CUTE WITH A SHORT BEARD...
HE HUNG OUT WITH JUSTIN BOND OF KIKI AND HERB FAME - WHO DID THAT VERY TEENAGE POSE OF IGNORNG YOUR BEST FRIEND.......... JUSTIN IS TALENTED PERFORMER BUT A BORE AS A PERSON...

ANDY WAS A GENIUS.....HE THOUGHT HE AWAS AN ALIEN.......

THEN ON THE BUS RIDE HOME - SOME DRUNKEN HIPPIE CUNT, PLOPPED NEXT TO ME AND TREID TO STIEK UP A CONVERSATION....IGNORING THE FACT THAT I WAS IGNORING HER....FUCK MY SPELLING.....
WHEN I CONTINUED TO IGNORE HER, SHE GOT ALL TEARY AND SAID ''I'M REALLY DRUNK'' ANDTHEN WOULD NT LEAVE ME ALONE....SO I GAVE HER THE 'WITHERING LOOK' A LOOK THAT SAYS....YOU'RE TOTAL WALKNG SCUM........SHE THEN SORTA NODDED OUT AND BEGAN GURGLING........... SITTING NEXT TO ME..... THEN MY ENGLSIH RESERVE SNAPPED AND I GOT UP AND SAID '' GET OUT OF MY WAY'' AND STOM,PED OFF TO A SEAT ONTEH LOWER DECK.........

PEEPLE ARE SHIT - ANDY WAS RIGHT.............